Child Support is an area where emotions can run incredibly high. It is important to keep as objective as possible when it comes to the aspects of your case in which you can control. Below are five helpful tips for your child custody case.

In order to help your Child Custody case, be sure to:

1. Start your search for a competent child custody attorney as soon as possible. This may seem like common sense, but keep in mind that just because you find an attorney or meet with them, they might not be able to take on your case. This can be because of case load, conflict of interest, or for other reasons. Don’t wait until the day before a hearing to start your search!
2. Be completely honest with your attorney. As in any other practice area, attorneys can best represent you when they know all of the relevant facts. This allows them to plan strategy and prepare for potential attacks. Additionally, remember that the nature of the attorney-client relationship is confidential, so anything you tell your attorney in regards to your child custody case will be kept in the strictest of confidence.
3. Do not sign anything without your attorney reviewing it first. This is not unique to child custody cases, but may be even more detrimental considering what is at stake. If your spouse approaches you to sign a document, and pressures you to sign without having your attorney “intervene,” resist the impulse. Child custody attorneys are experienced in the practice area, and know what essential terms must be present, and how an agreement will be treated by the court. Also, remember that an attorney represents your interests only.
4. Follow the Court Order completely. Even if your spouse violates the order, you should be sure to follow your part of the order as it is written. For example, be sure to pick up your child at the times and locations stated, and have them ready to be picked up, or drop them off on time. Obviously situations arise that call for changes of plan, but be sure that these are communicated well in advance, so as to avoid any potential causes for conflict.
5. Keep detailed records.Keep a detailed diary or calendar of the specific days each child was with you and those with the other parent. Note the times of pick up and return of the child. Try to briefly outline activities that the child engaged in. Note the person who picked up and returned your child, in addition to whether this was in accordance with your agreement. If you are receiving or paying child support, make a note of each check number, the date of receipt or payment, and the amount of the check. These records will be helpful for your attorney’s purposes, and to keep an accurate record

Contact Armfield Investigations for any questions concerning Process Service anytime  (405)596-3455

If you find yourself questioning your relationship there may indeed be some underlying reason. At times it may seem that you are simply self-doubting yourself. Self-doubt happens to everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if your self-doubts are spring-up because of the way you are begin treated by your partner then you may have reasons to be concerned, as it may be signs of abuse.

Many times people want to be in a relationship “so bad” that they will tolerate unhealthy and emotionally damaging abuse by their partner. The abuse doesn’t necessarily mean physical abuse either. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging, if not more. Emotional abuse can shatter an individuals self-esteem and their value system – the way they see themselves.

In some cases, an individual may be afraid to speak up, fearing their partner will leave them and they feel emotionally paralyzed to be alone. But that doesn’t have to be the case. There is no reason for physical abuse to be tolerated, and the same hold true to emotional abuse.

As a private investigator, I often get involved in the end of relationships. When one person decides to get their life back on track by ending how they have been treated and moving on to a healthy environment.  Sadly at times , leaving means get the person to an abuse shelter for safety reasons and personal protection. Sometimes it means helping them find a lawyer so they can get what they need in the legal system. As a private investigator, I find the answers and information they need to move forward.

Here is a list of  warning signs I often see and hear about when looking into bad relationships. They show examples  that you may be in an unhealthy and abusive relationship and that in some way your partner is being abusive to you – mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually and financially:

“Remember you have the right to your own self respect. You can refuse to be treated certain ways.” Does this describe your Marriage or relationship?
Your partner is self-centered, rude or inconsiderate when they:

… Always expects you to answer the door or telephone.
… Always wants you to drop everything while you are “being summoned.”
… Is adamant about talking to you while you are busy – while you are trying to watch television or trying to read.
… Constantly interrupts people and makes them feel unwelcome and uncomfortable in your home.
… Refuses to turn down the television or radio while you are on the phone or while other people are visiting or talking.
… Becomes angry, agitated, distant and completely unapologetic when their rude behavior is pointed out.
… Refuses to go outside to smoke when they know it bothers you and others.

Your partner is jealous of time you spend with family and friends and the help you give others when they:

… Become easily agitated and angry for spending “too much time” with friends, family, or children.
… Tell you it’s always “a bad time” for you or for them to talk to family members on the phone.
… Feel that giving help, time and energy is “wasted” if given to children.
… Become infuriated when you do favors for family and friends or give them things.
… Would rather have you throw something away than give it to someone in need.

Your partner feels threatened or is completely shut down when it comes to your personal goals, dreams, and desires when they:

… They tell you or imply that your personal interests take up too much time.
… Believes that your personal interests and hobbies are stupid, boring, pointless, a waste of time, and/or inferior to their own.
… Is dead set against accompanying you and refuses to attend any function or event that interests you.
… Causes drama and picks a fight before an event that is important to you.

Your partner does not respect your right to make your own decisions when they:

… Insinuate that whatever you think of feel always “affects them” and therefore you should not make a decision and that it must always be a “joint” decision.
… Cause a fight and get agitated or tell you they are disappointed in you when you don’t take their advice.
… Constantly humiliate, criticize or question whatever you do if you make a decision without their input or approval.

Your partner considers their own logic or intellect to be far superior to anyone else (including your own) when they:

… Insists that their way is the “only way.”
… Claims that their arguments are based on logic or sound evidence and that yours are stupid and emotionally based.

… Refuses to recognize or places no value on decisions made based on feelings or intuition.
… Believes that only their opinion counts and that any opinion you have is invalid, illogical, hysterical, or selfish.
… Will not listen and are completely intolerant of any criticism of their own behavior.
… Believe everyone around them – including their employer and/or employees – are all defective somehow.
… Always considers your friends to be incompetent fools and idiots.
Your partner is extremely opinionated and critical of others when they:

… Are either racist or sexist – or both.
… Are critical about other people and their behavior.
… Are completely unable to listen to opinions that differ from their own.
… Always has a double standards for their behavior.
… Are obnoxious and rude to your friends and family.

… Dislikes your family and tries to put a wedge between you and them.

Your partner always has “trouble” at work:

… They can not hold steady employment or change jobs frequently.
… Rationalizes that they are always the victim in employment setbacks.
… Believes that their boss is “out to get them” and treats them poorly.
… Believes that their coworkers are “out to get them” and are secretly working against them.

Your partner disregards laws or social customs that interfere with their own personal goals or pleasure when they:

… Refuse to follow family or religious customs.
… Feels there is no point in observing holidays and that gift giving is frivolous and for “losers.”
… Fell that anyone who works hard for a living are “idiots and suckers.”
… Are scornful of the government or the “system.”
… Use illegal drugs and don’t want to hear about it.

Your partner is very concerned about their “public image” when they:

… Throw a fit and easily gets angry if they think you made them look bad in front of others.
… Become another person in public.
… Treat you better in front of their friends or strangers.
… Treats you better in public than in private.
… Brag about you or your accomplishments to others, but rarely if ever pay you a compliment in person.

Your partner attempts to make you jealous or insecure when they:

… Constantly threaten to leave you.
… Insinuate they have other lovers waiting in the wings.
… Measure you up to previous lovers.
… Constantly tell you how good you have it with them and that no one will ever care about you the way they do.

Your partner is jealous and suspicious when they:

… Always accuses you of infidelity or having someone else on the side.
… Always tell you that friends of the opposite sex are trying to seduce you and take you away.
… Puts you down by saying the only way you got your job is because of your looks.
… Refuses to let you do anything on your own because you might meet someone else there.

Your partner rushes the relationship when they:

… Insist and pressures you that you must  live together
… Insist and tries to pressure you into have sex before you are ready.
… Propose marriage too early in the relationship.

Your partner does not respect your privacy when they:

… Listen in on your private phone calls.
… Check the calls you make on your cell phone.
… Reads your diary or journal.
… Opens your mail.
… Break into your email account.

Your partner manipulates you and others to achieve their goals when they:

… Try to use guilt trips to make you feel bad about yourself.
… Do questionable things that are illegal or dishonest.
… Try to get you to do or say things that you are not comfortable with.
… Says they will either kill themselves or you if you don’t do as they say.
… Bullies you until you agree with them.
Your partner is intolerant of children or animals when they:

… Refuse to change or feed the baby.
… Refuse to have pets or children in the home because of the mess or inconvenience.
… Treat their own children better than their step-children.
… Believe children don’t deserve the level of respect or support as adults.
… Are cruel to animals.

Your partner insists that only THEY are the victim in the relationship when they:

… Mirror a situation and say that you are being selfish, rude, self-centered, uncooperative and more, when they are exhibiting that behavior themselves towards you and others.

… Insist they are trying to keep things together but that you are undermining the relationship.
… Threaten suicide or to kill you if you say you are leaving them.
Your partners ignores other peoples feeling and needs when they:

… Insist on eating fast food for dinner while you are on  a diet.
… Blares the television when they know you have a headache.
… Insist on eating spicy food when you have an upset stomach.
… Insists that you must help with chores when you are feeling sick.

Your partner takes no personal responsibility when they:

… Blame others for problems.
… Deny saying or doing hurtful things.
… Refuse to apologize for bad behavior.
… Apologize, but then continue to repeat the same hurtful behavior.
… Avoid duties, obligations, and debts and try to make them YOUR responsibility.

“Some relationships are like living in a house that is on fire. There is a point when you know you have to get out before you die.”

Stalking Is a Crime

The suspect in this scenario was charged with stalking. He apparently asked for a hotel room next to the stalking victim at hotels in Tennessee and Milwaukee then videotaped her with his cell phone camera through the peephole. He then tried selling the videos to a celebrity gossip site. They were also uploaded the videos to the internet.

Because the offenses believed to occur throughout many states, charges were brought by the US Attorney’s Office in Los Angeles with violations of federal laws prohibiting interstate stalking. Federal courts have jurisdiction or authority over matters which involve federal laws, interstate commerce and disputes between residents of different states.

The definition of “stalking” varies by state. Local law enforcement authorities and prosecutors interpret these laws according to prior cases and common practice. An attorney licensed in the state where the stalking occurred can give advice about specific laws.

Stalking Victims Seek a Protection Order

Stalking victims generally have various legal protections. First, if the stalking involves conduct as extreme as that described above, the following steps can be taken to protect yourself:

• Contact the police so that an investigation can begin immediately; and
• File a protection order if you know the stalker’s identity

An initial hearing requesting a temporary order of protection can often take place without notice to the person. If the judge grants the request, a sheriff’s deputy or private investigator will then serve the suspected stalker with a copy of the court’s order.

The order prohibits any contact with you and set the date for a hearing to request a long-term order of protection. An attorney should represent you at such hearings so important evidence will be presented in the proper way.

Prevent Improper Cell Phone Use

Many people have their own cell phones with camera features, including young children and teenagers. However, use of the camera feature should be strictly supervised. They should never be used to photograph people without their consent. It’s especially important for parents to warn their children of the importance of safeguarding the privacy of themselves and others by not misusing the cell phone camera.

Law enforcement authorities in many areas have been vigilant about cracking down on people who misuse cell phone cameras and videotaping devices for taking and disseminating nude photos. Especially photos of people under 18 years old. It’s important to explain the risks and consequences of such conduct to teens, who otherwise may find themselves in juvenile court.

You, as a parent, could be a defendant in a civil suit if it’s claimed that you inadequately supervised your children and knowingly allowed such conduct. Seek the advice of an attorney for an understanding of the consequences and remedies if you or your family have been photographed, or have taken photographs, in this way.

Many stalkers are harmless, but celebrities know that it can lead to extreme situations. Don’t let the situation get out of control before taking action.

Due to the economy in part, it is much trickier when we are trying to find that 7.7 percent of the population that does not have any debt. These are the people on the edge, usually working for cash under the table,or homeless people, or immigrants. Sometimes, they are just people who have learned how not to be found,avoiding debt and/or family by taking on new identities or keeping their money tucked away in their mattresses.

However, there tends to be a reverse correlation between the extent that people show up in databases and their criminal history. In other words, homeless people and people who don’t want to be found typically have more contact with law enforcement, which makes it more likely that they’ll have arrest records that may indicate their whereabouts.This is less true for recent immigrants.

I get asked to find people all the time. Some of them are not so easy. Given a name only at times, some are so far “off the grid” they are like Ghost.

Ghosts are people who are apparently alive and walking among us but who fail to show up in any significant way on anything that is connected to a computer. Ghosts live paycheck to paycheck, if they even get a paycheck. They eschew contact with the police. Any money they have is spent immediately in the form of cash or it is hidden in a mattress. They generally don’t drive, relying on public transportation or the kindness of cohorts to get them around. They exist in a purgatory between the legitimate world that we know and the netherworld.

Finding  a Ghost is sometimes the measure of the Private Investigator. It is not about the technology. It is about “old school”, a tank of gas and knocking on doors. Talking to this person which leads to this person which leads to this person and if no one is lying to you, you may get a lead. The Investigator who turns off the computer and gets out of the office is often your best bet.

Can Ghost be found?  Yes I really believe so. Im reminded of that game “Six degrees of Kevin Bacon”. In six actors or less, you can connect anyone in Hollywood to that actor. I believe that works on a larger scale too. You just have to find that one person to connect you to your Ghost.

How many doors are you willing to knock on?

Think carefully about how to manage the overlap between your pre- and post-divorce worlds, and how dating during your divorce could complicate getting on with your life.

Divorce Issues and Your New Relationship

Dating before your divorce is final could create or at least complicate issues in your divorce case. Your divorce lawyer can best guide you on the issue of whether or not dating presents possible legal problems.

Dating, Adultery and Your Divorce

In most states, the law allows you to seek a divorce either on fault-based grounds, meaning one spouse’s misconduct or wrongdoing is the reason for the divorce, or a no-fault divorce. Examples of fault-based grounds are adultery, desertion or cruelty.

In many states, dating before your divorce is final could fall within the legal definition of adultery. If you’re dating while still married, it’s possible that your spouse could raise the issue of adultery, complicating your case.

Spousal Support and Property Settlements

Depending on state law and the facts of your case, a new relationship could affect decisions in your divorce on spousal support and property division. In some states, a person’s misconduct, such as adultery, can impact these issues.

Living with a new partner could raise issues in your divorce. Your spouse might argue your expenses are less, and it should be a factor in deciding spousal support and property division. Keep in mind once your divorce is final, modifying support can be difficult.

Child Custody and Visitation Issues

Take care and use consideration when it comes to your children and dating during your divorce. Divorce is a major change in your children’s lives, so helping them cope while providing support and stability is important.

Think about how you want to introduce your children to the person you’re dating. Many people opt for slow introductions and integration. There’s no set timeline to follow, though, and everyone is different.

Your new relationship could be a factor if child custody and visitation issues aren’t yet settled in your divorce. A child’s best interests is the typical standard used in determining these issues. It’s aimed at securing your child’s well-being. A court could consider:

• The level of involvement your children have with the person you’re dating
• Whether or not your new boyfriend or girlfriend poses any danger to your children
• Whether or not living with your boyfriend or girlfriend is in your child’s best interests

Your divorce lawyer can best help you assess your situation, as courts have considerable leeway in deciding these issues.

Remember that divorce is a stressful and emotional situation for all involved. Keep dating from becoming an issue in your divorce, and avoid added conflict, time and costs. With your case completed sooner, rather than later, you’ll be free to move on with your life and your new relationship.

Once you’ve made the tough decision that you need one, it’s time to act. Knowing how to get a restraining order and how it will be enforced is the only way to get the protection you need.

Getting a Restraining Order

The process for obtaining a restraining order varies from state to state, but the same general steps usually apply.

First, you need to get some paperwork. You can get the forms at your local courthouse, or they’re often found online. Many shelters and domestic abuse prevention organizations also have the forms. Once you have the forms, the process goes like this:

• Complete the forms, describing the abusive or harassing behavior in as much detail as possible
• Take your forms, your ID and identifying information about the person you seek protection from to your local courthouse
• The court clerk takes your forms and information to a judge, who decides if a temporary restraining order is needed until a hearing on your application
• A hearing date for the permanent restraining order is set
• Arrange for service of process to the alleged abuser. It gives that person notice of the application and hearing details
• Hearing and decision. At the hearing, you must show the abuse or harassment, and your need for protection. The judge decides whether to issue the permanent restraining order, usually that same day

Enforcing a Restraining Order

Once a restraining order is granted, you should make several copies and keep one with you at all times. Also leave a copy of the order at work and your children’s school or daycare. An abuser or harasser breaks the law when they don’t follow the restraining order’s terms.

But it’s up to you to make sure the order is enforced. Call the police immediately if the person violates the order. The police should make a report of the incident, and if necessary, enforce the order by ordering the person to leave you alone or by arresting that person. In cases where the police refuse to act, usually you can:

• File a civil lawsuit for contempt
• Talk to your local prosecutor about pressing criminal charges

Either way, the person faces jail time, a fine or both for violating the restraining order.

No one actually tries to get into sticky situations where restraining orders are needed. It just happens. When it happens to you, stand up for your safety, property or a loved one by using the law to get the protection you need.

Questions for Your Attorney

• What are my options if a judge refuses to issue a restraining order?
• Can I use physical force to to stop someone from violating a restraining order?
• Are police officers legally liable if they refuse to enforce a restraining order and I’m later injured by the person named in the restraining order?

• Name, address and personal phone numbers
• Work address and work phone number
• Aliases or nicknames
• What kind of vehicle do they drive? Year, make, model, color or other unique identifiers are helpful too.
• Does the client have a picture or physical description of the person to be served?
• Is there a specific time service should be made?
• Have they been avoiding service or are they expecting and agreeable to service?
• Can the documents be sub-served?
• Is the individual known to be violent?

1. Find out if a request for a change of address has been filed with the Post Office.
2. Skip trace the subject using a dependable nationwide database provider, this can often yield additional billable hours or service fees.
3. Conduct a stakeout. We oftentimes can serve difficult service after a short surveillance and “service by ambush.” This is another lucrative add-on service!
4. If you have phone numbers for the individual, use creative pretexting techniques.
   Of course before conducting any skip trace or pretext remember to follow your state laws and regulations:
   • NEVER represent yourself as a law enforcement officer, clergyman, employee or member of an actual company.
   • MAINTAIN CONFIDENTIALITY. Do not reveal personal or intimate information about your subject to individuals having no right to or need for such information.
   • NEVER use your correct name or leave your telephone number.
   • NEVER pretext to obtain information from financial institutions, telephone companies or other protected information.
5. Be innovative and creative. Sometimes you just have to think outside of the box. Serving evasive individuals is like a game of “cat and mouse,” but by putting your investigative expertise and creativity to work you can often catch the individual off guard. For example… I had to serve a taxi driver once and he was evading service at his home and at work. I ended up calling his taxi service and asked for the driver to pick me up at my office; the call was under the pretense that I needed a ride to the airport. When he came to pick me up, I was able to serve him successfully… Out of courtesy, I paid his cab fare to my location… it was worth the effort and the client did not mind picking up the tab on this very important assignment.